Tyrone's Blog

Go Green with a Prius

tyrone — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:41:41 +0000

I love the new green initiative in the US today. Everyone wants to save the earth. Buy organic foods. Bike to work. Take the train. Whatever. And I have nothing against that. I don’t really care, but I don’t have anything against it. To each their own. We’re all gonna die one day, so most of that shit is pointless, but who does it hurt. But there is one group of green bastards I can’t stand. And that is those rat bastard cunts that drive a Toyota Prius.

I was driving to this hell hole I call my job this morning, and once again I was cut off by a fucking fag in one of those toy cars. This shit happens at least twice everyday. Can someone tell me why Prius drivers feel the need to drive in the fast lane all the fucking time. Why do they choose to get in the fast lane and drive slow. I just don’t get it. If you know you have a toy car that can only go 50 mph, get the fuck out the way. Or else you will get followed home by some crazy nigga named Tyrone, and he will cut your ass.

If you buy a Prius to save gas, I have one question, why didn’t you get a Hybrid Civic? It looks better, it drives better and you won’t look like a little bitch in it. If you bought it to save the world and go green, you’re a fucking idiot. You should go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself in your fucking Prius. Get out of my way.

Fuck the Prius.

To my people with Gold Teeth

tyrone — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:25:15 +0000

There has to be a day when you have to look at yourself and say, “I am 40 years old and I have gold teeth.” Or you have to say to yourself, “it’s 2009 and I have a fucking duck tail.” This is a message to the OG’s of the world, it’s time to give it up. Take off that Raiders Starter jacket from ’88. Quit dressing like you just stepped out of the Straight out of Compton video. And if you are balding, don’t get dreads or a Malcolm X conk. Cut that shit off. It is not cool to come to a job interview lookig like a broke Pee-Wee Kirkland.

So I beg of you, if you are over 40, take a trip to Macy’s and get a nice Alfani shirt. Go to Walgreen’s and get some clippers. And go to a dentist and takeout those gold teeth. I’m not saying become an old man, but don’t look like a fucking idiot.

A letter to Micro Managers

tyrone — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:54:11 +0000

This post goes out to our good friends in management. Not all managers, but the ones who feel as if their title makes them god. What do I mean by that? I mean, all thos assholes in a position of leadership that think they are fucking god. They THINK everyone should hang onto their every word as if it were the bible, and they THINK everyone should get on their knees and pray to them. Well guess what, Tyrone is the wrong nigga to hire for that.

I once had a manager tell me, “don’t worry about that. let me worry. I’ll tell you what to worry about.” What the fuck is that. Who the fuck do you think you are. What’s make you THINK you can do something better than me. FUCK YOU!

I don’t give a fuck what you have to say. I’m not fucking listening. Go ahead, read another self help or sales book. Just don’t come to me with inspirational quotes all day. You sound like an idiot. Don’t tell me what I have to do. All I have to do is stay Black and die. I’m Tyrone bitch and I don’t give a fuck. Just SHUT THE FUCK UP.

So to all the micro managers out there, back the fuck up. Remeber what it was like before you started licking balls and got your promotion. Iwork here because I have nothing better to do. I hate that shit and I don’t really give a fuck.

FREE O.J.

It’s been a long time!!

tyrone — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:39:17 +0000

It’s been some time since the last time the world heard from Tyrone. To be honest, I wasn’t angry enough. Well, I take that back. I was angry, but some asshole gave me a book called “The Secret” and it said some shit like if you dream it, it will come. Put out good energy and good things will happen. So I tried that shit. And where did it get me? Fucking nowhere, back here talking shit. It got me working a dead end job making peanuts for a salary. It had me walking around smiling like a fake ass Barack Obama, not telling people how I really feel. It fucking killed Tyrone. But I’ve been holding back for to long. Not sharing with the world my crazy ass thoughts. When I had my last blog going, I made a few enemies. I hurt some feelings. I even lost a couple friends. But I don’t give a fuck. I’m back and I’m better than ever. So tell everyone your boy Tyrone is back and he’s fucking furious.

By the way. Fuck Kobe, he’s a fucking rapist.